Lockhart
by MsRainey
Summary: "The red diminished behind Tifa's vision and she looked down at the blood on her hands. His blood. What if this man had a family? A wife? Kids? She'd taken him away from them. Her fault. Hers alone." Cloti. CloudxTifa
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII

A/N: As I saw Advent Children Complete the other day, the part where they show how Cloud found Denzel got me thinking... what happened to Tifa after Nibelheim? She's 20 in the game, leaving a gap of five years there. It's known Zangan took her to Midgar to help her, but then he leaves. What becomes of Tifa? Also, it was in Crisis Core that some man claims _he's _the owner of the original Seventh Heaven... my imagination took off and my fingers itched for my keyboard, so alas, here is my view of what happened. Enjoy!

* * *

She had barely turned sixteen when Zangan disappeared. Left in Midgar with no home, no friends, no family, and absolutely no gil. She had no hesitance in using her fists on unsuspecting drunks who would see her in the alleys and on the streets. It became an almost every night occurrence. The only job offer she'd gotten was at the Honeybee Inn, and she swore she'd rather rot in the sewers of the Slums than to degrade herself in that way.

It wasn't until she was six months into her homelessness that she met him. Marv.

The man smelt horrid: rubble, alcohol, and garbage. He couldn't even recall his last name, but he'd been the first man to look her in the eyes when he'd made conversation, and not her breasts. He'd shown her the best dumpsters to get food, most of them at Restaurant's where owners took pity and divided trash and left overs separately.

She asked one night, as he threw a moth eated blanket at her, what had happened to him. He'd responded that his wife and three year old daughter were murdered because of some distant cousin of hers: victims of ShinRa and the power of hate and lust of money. He recalled the events in gruesome detail, and she felt the fire like hatred for ShinRa increase within her core, leaving her in silent rage as she tried to fall asleep.

A few weeks later, he was dead, and with trembling hands, she dragged his body out of the street, and into his alley. "Sleep well, Marv." She closed his unseeing eyes and with heavy feet, walked away from her only friend.

Four months later, when she was already two months past her seventeenth birthday and even more broken, she met Trixie. A prostitute, and first class bitch. However, despite her icy exterior, Tifa came to realize she wasn't bad at all... just misunderstood. At first, Trixie had offered her a chance to meet one of her pimps, but with wide eyes, Tifa declined, stuttering in shock. Weeks passed and Trixie began to show up more and more in Tifa's alley. She brought food, clothes (though a bit more risqué than she'd normally wear) and even some gil -_on a good day, that is_-. And after Trixie's second proposal to her, Tifa thought hard. She was tired of the digging through food. She was tired of sleeping on dirt. Tired of fighting off every asshole that tried to touch what wasn't theirs…. tired of being on alert 24/7... just... tired. Still, she thought back to the promise she'd made for herself and for the second time, Tifa declined. With a shrug and toss of a jacket, Trixie was gone and headed to her owner.

Five hours later, she was murdered by a Turk. Her pimp had betrayed the wrong people and it cost her life.

The more she thought about Marv and Trixie, the more her anger bubbled deep inside her, gnawing on her very bones until she was so deep in rage she'd actually let it consume her. The next man who tried to touch her hadn't just gotten his ass kicked. No, he'd had his head smashed in, and his body bruised and broken before collapsing with a his final breath.

The red diminished behind Tifa's vision and she looked down at the blood on her hands. _His _blood. His drunken buddies had scurried off in fear, and she collapsed to her knees next to the corpse and broke down with sobs that sounded too severe to be human. They shook her whole frame and left her hollow. What if this man had a family? A wife? Kids? She'd taken him away from them. Her fault. Hers alone.

Still, life (_if that's what you'd call it_) went on, months progressed and Tifa wondered how she was still alive. She was a living shell, aimlessly walking around the slums; each sector different, yet the same. It didn't matter. None held the wind nor the sun. She was buried beneath the scum who ruled the Planet. Reducing her being into... into nothing. Where was her damned hero now? Most importantly, where was _she?_ She didn't know herself anymore. Had she ever?

It didn't matter anymore. She was a murderer. She was homeless, friendless, and now she was worthless. Her anger was slowly becoming outweighed by her guilt and her shame. Would the sunlight ever reach her here? Was this her punishment?

As fate -_that fickled bastard-_ would have it, Tifa found herself in Sector 7 on the eve of her eighteenth birthday.

"Keep yo' slimy hands to yourself you damned ShinRa scum!"

It wasn't the gruff insult that caught her interest, or the fact the drunk man had been tossed out like a bag of rice; no, it was the broad man's arm. His metal _gun _arm. Had anyone cared enough to notice, they'd realize Tifa was staring with unfiltered curiosity at the man's prosthetic gun arm. He looked up and locked gazes with her, as she'd been standing where the drunk landed. "The hell you lookin' at?" He snapped before turning and walking back in to what she noticed was a bar.

Tifa, for the first time in a long while, blushed with embarrassment and scurried out of vision. She hadn't known she had been staring. Interest gave her pause, however, when she noticed a woman, probably around her age (maybe a bit older) walk out with her hands on her hips, looking peeved.

"Just great, Barret! He could have had information about the Reactor!" The strawberry blonde cried in frustration. Tifa hid behind the side's railing, her curiosity peeked at the mention of the Reactor. Who were these people?

"I don't give a shit, Jessie! Ain't no man gotta touch a woman that way." Was the unapologetic reply.

For the next few nights, Tifa found herself back at the bar, Seventh Heaven. She slept just out of vision beneath the stairs, her ears absorbing anything that carried out through the tavern. Nothing much, but for Tifa, she liked it. She'd come to figure out a little girl lived there, belonging to the large man with the gun arm. _Barret,_ she believed.

Marlene was her name, she thought as she tried getting comfortable in the small space before falling asleep. Her sleeps were never satisfying. Restlessness and nightmares plagued her, _taunted _her. So it was no surprise when she woke with a jolt, Tifa's eyes snapped open in alert, ready to attack when a small voice called out, "Hellooo?". Tifa's head collided with wood above and she felt her eyes water. That was painful, she thought rubbing her head before she froze in shock.

A little girl, no- _toddler_, was sitting cross legged next to the entrance of her makeshift bed. She looked no more than two, Tifa thought as she backed up with wide eyes, only to hit wood. She didn't know what to do. _What do I do?_ She panicked.

The little girl frowned and crawled to her knees, poking her head in. "You're 'posed to say hi!" She said in what sounded like an accusatory tone.

Tifa licked her lips, not knowing whether to bolt, or actually appease the child. She was saved a decision as the wood directly above her began to shake and creak, leaving the indication someone heavy was walking on it. "Marlene!"

_Shit_, she thought, her eyes rolling to the wood above her. It was that gun arm guy. "I told ya never to come out here alone!"

"Look!" The child pointed at her, making Tifa want to disappear. She tucked her knees to her chest and buried her head. She didn't want to see the man. She didn't even want to be there! She grimaced, peeking through her hair to see a rugged face replace the little girl's. His gaze met hers and she snapped her eyes back to her knees.

"..The hell..?" She heard the man mumble.

"Go away!" Tifa snapped, her voice muffled by her arms. "I'm not bothering anyone!"

She felt her anger come back full force when she heard the man sigh in pity. With narrow eyes, she tried to do her best to appear threatening while shouting for him to just _go away_; however, the crack of her voice made it unsuccessful.

"You hungry?" The man asked after a few terse moments.

"No." She snarled, angry and embarrassed when the growl of her stomach loudly disagreed. She wanted to push him away so she could run. But… she knew better. He was a fighter (that much was apparent), and despite her own fighting skills, her weariness and malnutrition had her physically inept to go against such a man like him.

"Come on." He gestured, standing up and ignoring her harsh tone.

With a few moments of self debate, she reluctantly crawled out of the darkened space. She found herself twitching under the rake of his eyes across her body. It wasn't one of desire like most men, but of inspection. He was checking her over for injuries... the thought actually jolting her body in surprise. No one ever cared to look before.

"How long you've been livin' out here, kid?" He questioned, crossing his arms, his tone leaving no room for lies.

Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn to him and before she knew it, Tifa felt the words escaping her mouth without her knowledge. "Two years."

She sounded pathetic... even to her own ears. She dropped her gaze to her clothes. The same ones Trixie leant her that long time ago. They were ripped, dirtied, and smelt horrible. Suddenly self conscious of her appearance, she folded her arms across her chest, trying to shrink within herself.

"Come on, we got food an' clothes for ya inside." He sounded a little unsure, but still, that veiled layer of concern had her heart hammering in her chest.

She almost jumped right out of her skin when she felt a hand slide into her dirty, scar covered, calloused one. Looking down, she saw the little girl smile widely at her, "Come on!" The sunshine and merriment the girl possessed just by _being_ had Tifa blinking her eyes at the sudden sting of tears. Was this the feeling she could remember before the fire? Before ShinRa? Before Sephiroth?

Before stepping inside, the man turned and crossed his arms across his broad chest. "Got a name?"

Her name? When was the last time someone said her name? Her name…

"_Tifa," Her father choked out, his blood spilling through her fingers as her face contorted in disbelief and horror. "Run away… now… Tifa." _

"Tifa." She answered through her closed throat with pride. "Tifa Lockhart."

* * *

Wow. I actually like how this turned out... Review? I think I want to add a chapter or two more... what do you guys think?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII

A/N: So, I believe one more chapter after this. :D Thank you to my lovelies who reviewed. Muah! Here you are, enjoy!

* * *

It was two years.

The sunshine still hadn't reached her, but there were rays peeking through. Marlene. Barret. Jessie. Wedge. Biggs. All her own natural rays of light in what was a dim and dark world. At first she'd been hesitant to know them. Scared she would break completely if they'd turn out like Marv or Trixie. So hesitant, in fact, that it took months for them to even crack at her walls.

Eventually, the did crack. And then, they fell. And she was hopeless to stop it. It was like learning to walk again; this trust thing. But, as soon as she'd been given the job as a barmaid, and became aware of AVALANCHE, she knew then, she knew the trust could be rebuilt.

"_Tifa, huh." The dark skinned man nodded, dropping his arms. "Name's Barret. Barret Wallace." With ease, he crouched down and scooped the child out of her grasp. "This here's my lil' Marlene." _

"_She's beautiful." Tifa spoke, realizing the truth of her words. The child was beautiful. Chocolate eyes wide in wonder and glazed with youth and innocence. What she would give to be that way again. _

"'_Course she is!" Barret answered proudly before gesturing to follow him inside. "Let's get a move on." _

_When the entered, Tifa felt the men in the room focus their attention on her. She ignored it for the time being, but couldn't fight the reflex of snapping the wrist of the man who'd decided to cop a feel, and pin him to the table. _

_The tavern halted into silence, save for the man's whimpers of pain, and she snapped her hands back to her sides, moving a few feet back. What would Barret think of her now? Some psycho kid? Contrary to where her thoughts were taking her, Barret set Marlene on an empty chair and grabbed the man by the collar with ease and tossed him out the door. "'N don't even think 'bout comin' back here!" _

_Stunned (and relieved), Tifa let out a breath as he walked passed her like nothing happened. He nodded to a man in the corner to follow and they walked through a door to which revealed a small kitchen. The woman from a few days prior was there, stirring something in a large pot. "I told you to wait, Wedge! It'll be done in- Oh!" _

_Again, Tifa hid behind her hair as the woman's eyes widened at her appearance. When Barret informed her of the situation, her gaze softened she placed a gentle hand on Tifa's arm. "I'm Jessie. Come on, follow me." _

_With only a split second of hesitation, Tifa followed the woman up some stairs, into a cramped room with two bunk beds. "Here's some clothes." They would be a little tight around her chest, but it would do. "The shower's right over there." _

"_Um, thanks." Tifa answered, making her way into the bathroom. _

_When the water hit her skin, and the grime and stench washed away, Tifa sobbed. It just felt so… so- so __**heavenly**__. She didn't know how long she stayed in there, but if Barret's reoccurring knocks on the door left any indication, she'd guess it was a while. _

_She'd devoured her food, stayed somewhat silent when the two other men introduced themselves, and by the end of the night, felt herself relax completely. _

_Barret pulled out a cot, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Uh, not sure if it's too comfortable or not but- heh, better than the ground you was sleepin' on, right?" _

_He was right, Tifa found out as her body practically swam within the soft sheets and fluffy pillows. She let out a hum of pleasure, instantly falling into a deep sleep and missing the softening of the man's hard face. "Damn, girl. What you been through?" When his only answer was a shiver, he brought an extra blanket and awkwardly tucked her in, careful to avoid waking her. _

_As the days trickled to weeks, and weeks to months, Tifa began to see the life in things again. The life in friends… and eventually, after a year and a half, the life of family. They'd stop ShinRa, she thought with determination as Barret and the group told her the horrors of their stories and their plans against the tyrannical company. They would bring back life to the Planet. They __**had **__to. _

* * *

"Happy birthday, Tifa."

With a gentle smile, Tifa took present from Barret's hands as he sat next to her and nudged his shoulder with hers, earning an embarrassed grunt in response. Her fingers caressed the paper, feeling the warmth spread within her belly at how poorly it was wrapped, showing he had tried. For her.

She turned her face toward him and her lips curved at his grimace. It was obvious he wasn't used to so much sentimentality. "You know I love you, Barret, don't you?"

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Will you shut up an' open the damned gift!" She hid her smirk at seeing him eventually crack and a smile. "You know I do, Teef." He grumbled, though the fondness in his voice was there .

Stifling a giggle, Tifa unwrapped her gift. She pulled the items out with wide eyes and ran her thumb over the fabric. "Barret…" Her voice trailed off in awe.

"They're just gloves, Teef."

"They're gorgeous." She murmured sliding one on her arm. The black went up to her elbows, a metal protective plate surrounding it and the red fingerless leather overlapping, cut off at her wrist. "I love them! Thank you." She beamed, flexing her fingers.

"Yeah, yeah." She knew he was secretly pleased at her response though.

She watched as he stomped off, yelling at Wedge for something or another. She met the eyes of Jessie across the room, smiling when she winked and mouthed a happy birthday.

"Tifa!"

Turning, Tifa faced the one person who'd been the sole individual to crack her strongest defenses and find herself as a person. The reason she'd turn out the way she had. Strong, humble, and loving. This was all cause of little Marlene Wallace.

Tifa knelt down, spreading her arms open for the four year old, laughing when the child tucked her chin into her neck while cuddling a worn stuffed bunny. She'd just woken from her nap, but her grogginess didn't keep her from smiling. Nothing really did. "Happy birthday, Tifa!"

"Thank you, Marlene." She cradled the girl, feeling secure in her aura of warmth and affection. "I made cake. Would you like a piece?"

The girl nodded, still drowsy from her nap. "Mhm."

"Come on." Tifa smiled. With Marlene sitting on her lap, devouring her chocolate cake, Tifa's eyes swept across the room. These people were her family. Wedge and his naivety, Biggs and his ego, Jessie and her compassion, Barret and his protectiveness. This was the reason to keep fighting. To not give up.

"_Cloud… you remembered… my name." Wedge gasped out and Cloud knelt next to him, his eyes finally losing some of that cocky arrogance, replaced with what she was familiar with as he stared helplessly at her friend. "Barret's up top... Help him." _

_Tifa stood frozen as she watched the life fade from her friend's eyes. No. No, it couldn't- No. Just no. NO! Her hands clenched at her sides and she grit her teeth. ShinRa would pay. Her eyes widened at the vision of the light leaving Marlene's eyes. She instructed Aeris with nothing short of panic to get her out. Just __**get her out**__._

_Biggs was next, body twisted awkwardly over the railing of metal stairs. Cloud had to physically move her upward. Then it was Jessie. Gods, Jessie. Tifa couldn't breathe anymore, and once they'd found Barret, she was met with the vision of red. _

_Not her red rage, but the hair of a Turk. Her punches and kicks were ruthless against the red headed bastard. Then Aeris, slapped so viciously, she ran up to the edge reaching… reaching… "Aeris!" _

… _A sound, louder than she'd ever heard pounded through her eardrums, the vibrations echoed through her body. Clumsily she made it to her feet, dazedly looking around. What had happened again? _

_Then she knew. By the sight of Barret's face she knew. She clenched her eyes shut, wanting to burn the image of absolute despair on his features. That wasn't him. It wasn't. _

"_Marlene!" He cried, running to the rubble and smoke. The sector was blocked off by the wreckage and Tifa knew no one under that plate had survived. "MARLENE!" _

_She choked back a cry, body paralyzed it its spot. Then, at Barret's wail of anguish as he cried his daughter's name, her body trembled with fresh tears and lungful sobs. The sound jerked Cloud back into awareness and he felt torn on what to do. _

"_Biggs!" Barret continued, running back and forth, fruitlessly trying to get through. "Wedge! Jessie!" He punched the blockage, the sound making Tifa cover her mouth with her hand, holding back the pain. "Goddamn it! Damnit! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" _

"_What the hell's it all for?" _

_What was it all for? The cost of innocent lives? Really, what? _

"_Hey, Barret!" Cloud finally yelled, moving forward, causing Tifa's paralysis to break. _

"_Barret," She cried, running forward and clutching his vest. She felt, rather than heard, him scream in rage as Cloud tried once more to calm the him. _

"_Barret, stop!" Tifa sobbed, burying her head beneath his shoulder blades. "Please stop, Barret!"_

_She felt his resolve break and he gave a watery cry before shooting whatever was in front of him blindly. Tifa's sobs reduced to sniffs and hiccups as she felt the ripple of movement move off him and to her. "God damn…" _

_She released her hold on the man, stepping back with red eyes. Cloud placed his hand on her shoulder. Marlene, her mind chanted. Marlene was safe. She had to be safe. _

_All the people… innocent, guilty, poor, young, old, black, white, __**everything. **_

_ShinRa. Money. Hate. Planet. Greed. _

_Her eyes narrowed and her sniffles died completely. She would protect her loved ones this time. She wouldn't fail. Not again. She'd already failed her father. Marv. Trixie. Biggs, Wedge… Jessie.. Who was next? Barret? Marlene? Aeris…Cloud? _

_No! Her mind shouted. No._

_Whatever it took. Whatever the price; she'd be there. Even if it killed her. Especially if it killed her. No more. _

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Okay, so second chapter's done. What do you think? I personally think Marlene played a big part in Tifa's motherly nature. It had to be Marlene, right? And I love to think her and Barret close. :D

Valentine'sNinja: _I _can't express how amazing _you _are! *hugs* ^_^ Barret and Marlene were the most fun to write, so I am glad you liked it! Ah, your praise is causing my head to swell in ego! lol! It's so good to hear from you again! I can't wait to read your upcoming works, and I am so happy you've stopped to read mine again! *gives cookie* Thank you for being so damned awesome. Srsly.

Cloudlover2989: Exactly! Thank you for reviewing! I'm so happy you liked it! Hopefully you liked this chappie? XD Anyway, you deserve a cookie!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII

A/N: Okay, this is mostly Cloud pov..sort of. Anyway, thank you to my reviewers and hope you enjoy!

* * *

It wasn't something of a surprise when Tifa told him to bring the Denzel home that day. Since their journey in Avalanche started, he'd noticed the things she did. Scarce gil she'd need later on given to the elderly woman with ratted clothes sifting through a trash can. Her bagel (the only food they'd had in a while) he'd bought her for the man on the side of the road collecting cans. The blanket she'd purchased for the man sleeping on the cardboard box.

He'd believed it all to be just the kind person she was. Generous, beautiful, caring Tifa. Nothing personal in her actions. It wasn't until a few months after his Geostigma cure that he'd begun to piece things together.

She eventually came to do a weekly night of free food for the hungry who couldn't afford to eat, but he'd put it off as the result of destroyed homes, now being reconstructed. Same for when she'd scolded the children for not separating their trash and leftovers as was her rule. It wasn't until Reeve approached him about what kind of building Tifa'd had in mind for his new homeless shelter that Cloud wondered if it all meant something.

As he was walking out of WRO headquarters he was surprised to see Barret making his way toward him and smirked. "Damn, you look like shit."

Covered in sweat and monster guts, Cloud knew he did. "Hello to you, too." He replied in a flat tone.

"Don't give me no sarcasm, boy!" Barret scratched the back of his head and looked away guiltily. "I uh… I can't come this weekend ta see Marlene."

Cloud crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow at the larger man causing him to scowl. "Don't give me no lip!"

"I'll let her know." Cloud told him, ready to walk away.

"Just uh.. Let her know I'll be there next week. Got it?"

As Cloud watched Barret get ready to walk away, he realized the man might know something about Tifa considering they'd been living together for a period of time. "Hey, Barret?"

"Hm?"

"Tifa asked Reeve to build a homeless shelter. She's saved up a good amount to put down apparently." Cloud watched suspiciously as Barret's face softened and his eyes got a far off look.

"Figures." Was his reply.

Now he knew Barret knew something he didn't. "What?" He asked, his eyes narrowing a fraction.

"Shit, Spiky." He grumbled, "Didn't she ever tell ya?"

Cloud had to force down a scowl from not knowing something about Tifa that Barret did. "Tell me what?"

Barret raised his eyebrow and rubbed his beard. "Surprised, really. Thought she woulda told ya…"

"Barret." The annoyance and impatience was there in his tone and Barret rolled his eyes.

"Tifa was homeless fer two years." Barret answered, eyes still holding that same far off look. "We found her sleepin' under the damn bar! Clothes all torn an' shit. All bones and starvin'." He let out a big sigh and folded his arms. "Poor thing... she held 'er own, though."

Cloud's stomach twisted in knots and his brows furrowed. Not once did he ever give thought to what happened to her in between those years. He'd only been concerned about himself, even when she fixed his memories, he'd only thought about himself. She had suffered for two years... and all this immediately after Nibelheim... how could he not have-

"You okay?"

He jerked back to the present where Barret was staring at him with a frown on his face. "I gotta go. You give Marlene my word that I'll be back, ya hear?"

Cloud nodded and mounted Fenrir. So Barret had found her? Living on the streets… in the _slums_! His grip tightened as he realized there were so many possible situations that could have happened and he didn't know about any of them. Simply because he'd been to careless to ask or think about her. What if…?

No. She'd made it by. She was safe now. It was years ago… but still…

With a clench of his jaw, Cloud was determined to get some answers. And he would get them.

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Gives hugs and hershey's to: Cloudlover2989 and sana-chan9

I love you guys! ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII

A/N: Last chapter. Sorry for errors. Thank you reviewers! Enjoy!

* * *

Once, when she was young, after her mother had died, her father told her as if he were sharing a secret that tears were the best form of medicine.

"_Will it get better?" Tifa asked, lying down and picking at the tattered fabric covering her while watching a woman across the street cry hysterically over a man that had been shot just moments before. Her long raven hair fell across her eye, obscuring the scene. She didn't pull it back. _

_The man across from her sighed and adjusted his beanie, looking down to pick a scab at his knuckle. His eyes, though covered with dirt and sweat, always had a glossy shine to them, a tale of the years he'd suffered. "Can't be no harder. Worl' is dyin' and people's is sufferin'... Nah, can't be no harder…"_

Sometimes she missed the broken speech of her then-savior. Marv was a man of many thoughts, most unspoken. She truly did miss him. In present, she was determined to have Reeve build a proper home for those less fortunate, in honor of her dear friend.

Her thoughts came to a halt when the door opened, and a disheveled Cloud walked in, tracking mud through the bar as he made his way toward her. "Hey," He said quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Hey." She greeted, smiling brightly as she stacked the last chair. "Your dinner's in the oven. Sit."

He sat on the stool and dug into his meal when she placed it in front of him. "You're filthy." She noted, eyes roaming his figure.

Cloud nodded, swallowing before answering. "Monsters on my way back from Kalm." He finished his dinner, and the two made their way upstairs.

* * *

She was sitting in front of her vanity, brushing her now damp locks as Cloud sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. She'd let it grown out even more, the length falling just above her hips. "Is something wrong, Cloud?" She asked, seeing his intense gaze on her, with a hint of emotion she couldn't decipher. Ice blue met claret and she licked her lips at the swirls of emotions in them.

"Tifa," He began, sounding unsure. "I… Reeve told me you're helping with a new homeless shelter."

Tifa's brow furrowed. Surely he couldn't be upset about that. Was it because she hadn't mentioned it to him? "Yes, I am. I've saved up some gil on the side, Cloud, if that's why you're upset."

He shook his head as she placed her brush down, turning fully to him. "I just… why?"

"Why what?" She asked, genuinely confused. "Why help him?"

"Why a homeless shelter?" His eyes searched hers and she suddenly felt the room get a little heavier. He couldn't possibly know her reasoning… she'd done her best to conceal that part of her… it was too shameful to admit the things she'd done; the things she'd considered…

She looked away, the blue too much for her, and tried to sound nonchalant. "A homeless shelter is what Midgar needs, Cloud. At least while reconstruction is still happening."

Tifa risked a glance and felt a kick to her chest when she saw a flicker of hurt flash across his face. His voice was low and held just a hint of pleading. "You know, I'm here to talk to, Tifa."

She felt her throat close up and glared at her knuckles. He knew. He _knew. _"You know."

She heard him sigh and saw him shake his head. "Only what Barret told me."

Pursing her lips, Tifa felt her brow twitch in irritation. Of course Barret told him. It wasn't a big deal, being homeless… It shouldn't be something she was ashamed of, most everyone these days dealt with poverty in some form or another. Besides, she had invaded Cloud's _mind _before, seeing his most hidden secrets. Why was she so reluctant to open up to him about this? That's right, it wasn't because of her homelessness; it was because of her _actions _during her homelessness. "I…"

She looked up when he place his hand on her knee, and felt her heart clench at his usually unreadable eyes so expressive. "I'm sorry. If it bothers you, you don't need to tell."

She clenched her fists, disgusted with herself; her hypocrisy. She was always telling Cloud to open up, to communicate with her about his feelings, his problems; yet, now, when he was here, open and willing to, she hides. He was trying. He was trying _so_ hard.

He made to stand when her hand snapped to the wrist of the hand on her knee, keeping him from moving. It was silent for a few moments before she could get her voice together. "Please don't judge me."

Cloud started. He would never judge her. Moving his hands up he cupped her face, swallowing when her ruby eyes shined with unshed tears. "I would never." He told her honestly, wiping the tears away when they finally fell at his words.

She sighed shakily and re-gathered her voice, playing the words in her head to make her explanation short. "I was living on the streets for two years." She told him, avoiding the eye contact he was determined to have. She couldn't see him when she admitted her sins. "I wasn't like I am today… I- I was angry and lost and alone…"

Cloud had such patience, she thought wryly as she gathered her thoughts. "I met a few people, they were my friends… but, they were killed and that only made me angrier." Tifa closed her eyes, thinking back to the night the red had taken over and started again, shakily. "I killed someone." She choked out, "For no reason other than trying to touch me… It wasn't something I wasn't used to. Every night I'd defend myself, but that time… that time I was just so angry after that Turk killed Trixie…"

Cloud noticed when Tifa's eyes reopened that they had a far off look and he knew she wasn't talking to him anymore. "I snapped, killing him in a most violent way. I'd never do something like that, I'd promised myself I wouldn't be like them…" Her eyes gained their focus again and locked with his, and Cloud felt a knife through his gut at the pain in her eyes. He recognized it within himself only months before. "I was seventeen, Cloud!" She cried, shaken by her memories. "Seventeen! I killed him with my bare hands for no reason! He could've had children. A family…"

He clutched her hand in his, shaken by her emotion, her guilt. She didn't deserve to feel this way. Not Tifa. "You were surviving." He told her sternly.

"No, I wasn't." She admitted quietly. "I was angry. At the Planet. At ShinRa. At myself… At that time, I wasn't a good person."

"Tifa," He tried protesting. Was this how she had felt during the time he'd buried himself deep in his memories of guilt and depression? He could only now realize the pain she must have suffered because sitting there and hearing these things pour out of her heart _literally _pained him.

"Please, Cloud." She shook her head, feeling only a bit lighter at getting these things out. "I even considered prostitution…" She admitted, feeling his hand tighten around hers painfully and watching as his jaw locked and eyes hardened. "I was so hungry and tired." She tried explaining, "Trixie had offered a place for me with her pimp and for a brief moment I actually considered it. I- I'm not proud of this, Cloud." She whispered.

He felt himself tear at her confession. If Tifa had considered something like _that, _he couldn't imagine what it had been like for her.

She lowered her eyes in shame. "Please don't judge me." She repeated, dismally.

"Tifa," His voice was heavy. "Look at me."

She didn't, but wasn't surprised when calloused fingers gripped her chin lightly and aligned her vision to his. "Tifa," She was waiting for the disgust and the disbelief… but there was none. Only tenderness and understanding. "I would never." His voice firm yet soft all at once.

Tifa moved forward then, wrapping her arms around him, burying her face into his neck, letting herself mourn for her lost innocence, youth and fallen friends.

Gradually, the tears stopped but she still clutched onto Cloud. "Thank you." She whispered into his neck.

He ran his hand through her hair and pressed his lips against her hair. "Everyone has a past, Tifa." He spoke lowly against her crown. "I love you. All of you."

"Will it get better?" She whispered, running her fingers through his spikes.

He lowered his face to hers and his breath tickled her skin. "I promise you, Tifa, it will."

And as she felt Cloud's lips lower onto hers, she knew then that it would. Cloud would help her. Like she was there for him, he would be there for her.

The wounds would heal. And so would she.

* * *

Big thanks to **Pookyilicious**, **cloudlover2989**, and **sana**-**chan9 **for being so wonderful and just so amazing. You guys totally rock! *hugs* Hope you all liked it! :)


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